March 17, 2007
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The Most Amazing Thing I've Seen in a Long Time
No, I'm not talking about Himself careening down the aisles at CostCo on a Sunday morning (more on that later).
Uh uh. Not Himself doing a leprechaun imitation ("They're magically delicious!") but I agree, gojeannie�it IS pretty funny.
Nope, not Himself practicing karaoke�gen-u-wine JAPANESE karaoke�in preparation for some future visit to Japan (but you're getting close).
Here 'tis, in all of its glory:
Spaced Out: The Best of Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner
For those of you who have missed out on the occasional spectacle of William Shatner reciting a song's stanzas to background music because he can't sing, this is your golden opportunity to be awe-inspired�flummoxed�gobsmacked. Just as good, if not better, as the renditions themselves are the reviewers' comments on amazon.com. PRICELESS.
Mister tambourine man... MISTER TAMBOURINE MAN!!!
I love so-bad-it's-good music, so obviously I had to have this CD. There's so much superlatively, deliciously, appallingly bad stuff on this CD it's hard to know where to begin. Most of the CD is taken up by Nimoy, but the few Shatner tracks scale heights of awfulness that few other artists have even approached (not even Bobby Goldsboro). "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Mr. Tambourine Man" prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that method acting and popular songs are not a marriage made in heaven. In fact, together they are possibly the worst songs ever recorded by anyone anywhere. I challenge you to listen to these two songs back-to-back and decide which is worse -- perhaps that's something man was never meant to know. The Nimoy tracks are not quite as spectacular, but there are many highlights there too: "Highly Illogical" is delightfully awful, and "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" is completely demented (it's a favorite on the Dr. Demento show). The rest of the songs are mostly just evidence of Mr. Nimoy's incredibly mediocre singing voice; some of them, like "Both Sides Now" should be included on a future compilation entitled "Good Songs Sung by Bad Singers". This CD is a treasure that you'll enjoy for years, although not for the reasons the artists intended.
Where No Manure Has Gone Before
I used to think the funniest unintentionally funny thing I'd ever heard was Lorne Green, Dan Blocker and Michael Landon butchering the theme from "Bonanza." Then I got this album. The tone-deaf stars of "Bonanza" have nothing on "Star Trek's" William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, whose insatiable TV-star egos pushed them to record music and monologues that transcend mere mediocrity and ineptitude, constituting an alien art form that defies earthly description. Whatever it is, it's the best of it, or the worst, depending upon your point of view. You'll love it passionately, like I do, or you'll despise it with every fiber of your being, like my wife does. There's no middle ground here.
perhaps the funniest thing imaginable
this is actually, for anyone, trekkie or no, one of the most laugh-out-loud hilarious albums ever created. with either--I can't decide--an incredible sense of deadpan humor or tragically overwrought sincerity, the two star trek icons mercilessly butcher a whole album full of otherwise respectable songs (and, in the case of shatner, bizarre composite monologues ripped from Shakespeare).
Shatner manages to 'sing' everything as though it were Star Trek, and Nimoy manages only occasionally to nail a pitch.
Highlights:
- Mr. Tambourine Man for its PRIMAL SHRIEK OF DOOM that will really surprise you if you're not ready for it.
- Highly Illogical for its bizarre, peppy and inane musings on earth-culture.
- The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins for pure absurdism. Google for this and you'll find a video of Nimoy which only makes it better.
- Hamlet. I don't think I need to elaborate.
Fans of this FANTASTIC album should really investigate Shatner's newest album, 'has been,' which shines with such gems as "It Hasn't Happened Yet," and a spoken-word cover of the brit-pop "Common People," the latter of which rivals anyting on this album for hilarity.
I totally agree with this one (NOT that I'm plunking down my hard-earned $$, however):
After reading these reviews...
I've already been laughing for the past 45 minutes, and I
just ordered the album - it hasn't arrived yet. I think Amazon
is missing a marketing opportunity by not charging people to
read these reviews, because they're hysterical!How did I happen upon this buried treasure? Miracle Max was talking about "Common People" by Pulp; also listed in the eStore was William Shatner's version. What could possibly be more classically trite than that??!?
Random Thoughts�
- One of the ways Bluetooth wireless technology sucks pondwater (yes, let me count them) is you never know when your batteries are about to die on you. Perhaps the keyboard starts typing some random characters and then skipping some letters but not others. Maybe the cursor starts to move in fits and spurts. So much for wireless being convenient...if you don't have fresh batteries, you're basically hosed until you can find a CABLED keyboard or mouse. Sheesh.
- And you thought I was a klutz (you can skip this paragraph, Ms_Lellis): dashing through CostCo on a Sunday, hurrying to pick up necessities. Like what, you might ask. HULLO, Kirkland vodka which is reputed to be bottled by the Grey Goose people BUT literally half the cost (yes, Kids: run, don't walk to your nearest CostCo and check it out). Himself had the basics list plus cart so I could snake my way down the aisles unencumbered. Mission accomplished, we went for Peet's afterwards and he was wincing whilst sipping his latte. I said, so are your muscles bothering you after your bike ride yesterday? He said, no he had fallen. I asked, you mean during your bike ride? He said no, just now. I asked, YOU MEAN YOU JUST FELL IN COSTCO??? He said, yup he was walking down an aisle and somehow tripped his own self, falling down on the side which has the jeans pocket full--FULL, I tell you--of crap. Like the wallet that he never empties of receipts until they are so rolled up that I have to practically iron them to read while I'm entering things into QuickBooks. How does one trip oneself up while walking down a pretty much empty aisle??? I'd just left him for 10 minutes while I was scouring the store. He sprained a finger and skinned his knee so it was actually bleeding while we were drinking coffee. Sheesh encore!
- Discovered an new, new allergy but OF COURSE only after a total dermatological meltdown of epic scale. Kinda like "300". But without the Spartans. Nor the Phoenicians. And, drat it, minus Gerard Butler. Anyways, here's the sordid story: wanted to get off artificial sweeteners because gawdknows what they do to our innards. GlamGirl introduced me to Stevia rebaudiana which can't be marketed as a sweetener due to the sugar industry having a complete cow plus the FDA using scare tactics and slapping on restrictions but can be found as an herbal supplement. From Wikipedia:
With its extracts having up to 300 times the sweetness of sugar, stevia has garnered attention with the rise in demand for low-carbohydrate, low-sugar food alternatives. Stevia also has shown promise in medical research for treating such conditions as obesity[1] and high blood pressure.[2][3] Stevia has negligible effect on blood glucose, therefore it is attractive as a natural sweetener to diabetics and others on carbohydrate-controlled diets.
Sounds like an ideal additive, eh? Sweet AND controversial. Plus Stevia maintains its integrity at high temps so one can use it in cooking which isn't true for some of the artificial sweeteners. Well, leave it to LaurenKaz to NOT realize it comes from the ragweed or sunflower family Asteraceae... Took me a couple of months to finally put two and two together. The skin around my eyes started cracking and peeling but only in the corners; this is probably when I was only using it occasionally at the beginning. Next, we moved into our new headquarters which had no heat in January and February so I was drinking tea like mad (milk and Stevia, natch). Finally, in a brilliantly stoopid move, replaced cocktails with unsweetened 100% cranberry juice, fizzy water AND Stevia in a misguided effort to be healthier. Which resulted in a(nother) skin meltdown�of COURSE, on my face...where else?�which caused my eyelids to puff up, turn bright red and peel in earnest (they were only kidding before). A lovely vision, not unlike the baboons at the zoo (but at the other end).
Have decided that alcohol's the only way to go. DUH.
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