April 10, 2008

• A Classic LaurenKaz Moment

  So there I was, checking out at Whole Foods after having embarked on a more than successful hunting and foraging mission. Fuds, we has them. Greeted the cashier; we exchanged pleasantries and then she asked, "Do you have your ID?"

   

  I looked up—WTF?—and thought to myself: Whole Foods must now require customer IDs and I NEVER GOT MINE.

   

  I gaped at her.

   

  <pause> "ID?"

   

  She nodded and waited.

   

  I thought to myself in a panic: I'm a great customer so how come I didn't get my customer ID? I wonder if its 5 or more digits?? Are they going to let me buy these groceries???

   

  <pause encore> "So when did Whole Foods move to customer IDs? I never received mine." Quickly and cleverly theorized that if I looked confoosed (as if that's a problem) or perhaps adopted an injured air, maybe she would let me slide this time and I'd wade through the piles o' paperwork on my desk at home...STAT.

   

  She looked at me appraisingly.

   

  Held up the wine bottle sitting on the conveyor and clearly ennunciated, "Eye-Dee". Obviously, she finally recognized that she was dealing with a...simple--yeah, that's the term...person.

   

  O.M.G.

   

  I WAS BEING CARDED.

   

  Okay, okay...so its been awhile since that has happened. In fact, I was probably mistaken for a boy more recently than needing to prove my legal ability to purchase alcohol. Seriously. But honestly--how does one's peabrain jump to the panicked conclusion that one has missed getting their customer ID number from a grocery store??!?

   

  Sometimes Oftentimes I really scare myself.

   

  • 4:09 pm
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