Dangit...August slipped by altogether!
I know, I know�the usual excuses are just too, too flimsy and familiar so I'll skip them this time. As Julia Child said about her cooking: "I don't believe in twisting yourself into knots of excuses and explanations over the food you make." And if the Grande Dame of Haute Cuisine said that (following a description of a failed meal), then who am I to argue?
The Rest of Seattle Trip Summary
- Awesome, awesome ferry system...can't think of a better way to commute, if one has to choose. Probably hellish during the winter with the wind, rain, sleet (?) and chop but so much more civilized than driving. Love it that their bathrooms are set up for commuters with the rows of outlets, mirrors and sinks where people can dry their hair, apply their makeup and basically use the trip to get ready for work.
- Hung out in the Port Angeles area on the Olympic peninsula for 3-4 days. Truly unbelievable�where the mountains meet the ocean and there's an actual rain forest and glacier to boot. There was snow on the mountain peaks but fog at night, layering a cool mist that surged and receded like a living thing.
- Took the foot traffic ferry over to Victoria, Vancouver Island being just across the strait. This has got to have been one of the gnarliest ferry crossings I've ever done and that includes the fascinating time we went to Moorea from Tahiti, accompanied by goats and chickens. Walking from stem to stern consisted of lurching drunkenly down the aisles, grabbing onto tables, poles and people as you went along. Once we made land, we lunched at Murchie's Tea & Coffee Ltd (since 1894!) teashop, natch. Wandered the streets of this splendiferous town on a splendiferous day with yet another heat wave following us so the Victorians actually had to find fans to cool down their shops as there was no AC to be had. Let's guess there was an overabundance of lobster-colored people by the end of the day.
- Returning to Port Angeles meant we found a lovely hotel closest to the ferry launch and proceeded to (quel surprise) have wine and fresh oysters. Then back to the ferry and a queue through Customs. I hammered home to Jer some repeated admonishments: Do NOT joke with Customs. Do NOT cause a scene of any type. Do NOT say anything remotely clever that might lead to a body cavity search. I made the grave error of selecting the wrong person to warn, however: LINDA decided to banter with the Customs official. He asked, do you have anything to declare? She replied: only food and drink! He looked at her quizzically since we were carrying one tiny shopping bag between the three of us (and some hidden Cuban cigars secreted in the backpack). He repeated his question. She gave the same answer, grinning like a baboon the entire time. I finally turned to her (they do group Customs processing in Canada, eh), smacked her on the arm and said, STOP JOKING AROUND. WE HAVE NOTHING TO DECLARE. She merely giggled. A light went on in the Customs official's brain: aha, she's tipsy. She chortled the entire walk down the corridor while I lambasted her for her frivolity. Jer, in the meantime, was muttering to himself: so I thought we weren't supposed to joke around...I distinctly remember being told not to cause a scene...I didn't say anything remotely clever to get us in trouble...
- Port Angeles and Sequim�pronounced Skwim�host a Lavender Festival that we missed by a week. Went to some of the farms anyways which were so beautiful and bucolic. Haven't seen the lavender fields in Provence (yet) but can imagine these were similar, albeit on a smaller scale. It turned out to be a good thing we missed the festivities as 35,000 people crowded into the towns which would've made us pretty grumpy. We got to see the farms pre-stampede and Linda bought some awesome lavenders to plant at their new house. We even <gasp> planted all of them that evening instead of leaving them to wither in their pots which is what normally happens.
- The time zoomed by too quickly and we headed back to reality, stopping overnight in Seattle again and ending our vacation at one of the coolest airports in the world, Sea-Tac. Not only is it interesting from an architectural PoV, with plenty of color, materials and clever details, but it boasts a very fine seafood restaurant with an astonishing bar. You can truly see the benefit of the influx of Microsoft dollars, from the incredible library to its airport; other cities should follow Seattle's example but its doubtful they could all have such a patron.
Another Great Himself Moment
So Himself and I are doing the Pet Club run--have to stock up for an abundance of kitties: 5 indoor, 5+ outdoors and several work denizens. We haul home 5 sacks of litter (50 lbs each), several 25 lb sacks of kibble and many cases (albeit small) of Fancy Feast. I hop out of the van to grab things from the side door; Himself goes to the back and swings up the Odyssey rear door. All of a sudden: THUNK! I look up to see Himself reeling backwards having smacked his forehead on the door's edge as he bent down to grab a sack. No bloodshed but puh-lenty o' dramatic cries and gestures. Finally, he looks at the van and turns to me with his eyes wide open: "Look! Look!! There's something wrong with the van!!! Look at how low the tires are�the suspension must be broken!" I'm thinking to myself: what the frack are you talking about? Yes indeedy, folks: the fact that there's 300+ lbs o' cat shtuff sitting on the rear axle never entered his calculation for the correct angle of descent into the back of the van. And he says I'm not logical. Humph.
A(nother) Good Reason to Lose Mucho Pounds
LaurenKaz has hit a new high (or should we say a really LOW point) in her weight saga. Won't tell you what the number actually is but suffice it to say its grim. Nothing brought home that fact better than the day Himself locked me out of the IZ. He saw me leaving via the back gate to sweep up broken glass in the parking lot. He even waved bye-bye as he slowly drove past to go bike riding. But it obviously didn't REALLY sink in as he closed the gate and I was left with no key, no remote gate opener and no cell phone. In a deserted business park. On a weekend.
My only chance at breaking into my own yard was to clamber up a utility box and scale the high concrete wall. Have you ever tried to heft yourself up onto a smooth HOT metal surface at least 4.5+ feet off the ground with no footholds? Me neither. Luckily, I had the handy-dandy Rubbermaid light blue waste can on wheels. There was no standing on the upright can�the wheels make it shoot out from under your feet....trust me on this one. But by lying it down on its side, one could jump up and down as if on a trampoline to gain enough altitude and reach the top of the utility box. BTW, there's a very fine line between jumping up and down hard enough to bounce into the air but not squash the flimsy plastic trash can flat. Repeated efforts finally found me supporting myself with one arm on the utility box and the other arm on the wall, looking somewhat like a gymnast on parallel bars (if you were smoking crack at the time). But NOW WHAT?!??
40 lbs overweight (and never having had any upper body strength to begin with) meant there was pretty much a snowball's chance in hell I'd be able to swing my leg up and onto the utility box. Already, both arms were starting to shake which meant there was a window of 5 seconds before they gave out and my fat ass hit the ground. Truly a Jon Krakauer "Into Thin Air" Scaling Mt Everest Moment. Summoning up every possible strength from the core of my being, I managed to summit the utility box and, feeling triumphant, took a moment to survey my kingdom. Discovered a fellow watching me from across the parking lot who was supposed to be unloading his party supply truck but getting far more entertainment than he could've ever hoped for.
Project Runway: Who Was the REAL Jerk?
Aw c'mon, I agree that Jeffrey was harsh with Angela's mother, Darlene, and he might've softened his stance a tad (but that would so not be Jeffrey). However, the moment she entered the picture, warning bells went off in my brain that said this gal's trying to influence things in her daughter's favor. I saw afterwards, 70% of the viewers who voted felt that Darlene was in the right but, really, people: Think calculation. Think strategy. Think competition. HELLO!
"I feel bad�I feel like I�m going to cry�I feel like I�m limiting you." Already she's talking about crying. So she wasted the 30 minute interview time and Jeffrey ended up with unworkable ideas that contradicted each other. For instance:
"I�m just concerned the colors are matronly; I�m trying to avoid that." O the irony of this statement! She uttered it while wearing a shapeless navy blue sweater (which made her look BLOBBY) over a plain striped shirt. And the colors she wanted him to work with? Dark purple or dark green. Haute couture, fer sure. NOT.
"There�s so much hate in this place�<sniffle>�its been so great up til now�(wipes away tears)." What�your 15 minutes of fame? Yes, darlin'....it really MUST be all about you. Darlene initially comes off as a naive mom who was taken aback by Jeffrey's attitude but I think she managed to play up the drama and it seemed like she was working herself up so she could shed some crocodile tears. Puh-leeeze!
Darlene is suddenly so helpless that Angela has to help her get dressed? And Angela takes the opportunity to prep her mom saying: "...if the judges ask you on the runway about it, just say whatever you feel. You have the right to be honest." Can we say S-E-T-U-P?
While being interviewed after the runway show, Heidi just happens to ask Darlene how she liked the outfit. No other mother or sister was asked this question (well, except for Uli's mom because Heidi felt constrained to rattle something off in German)�TOO obvious, Heidi! "Evidently Jeff and I are�obviously different and there was a lot lost in translation. I feel quite matronly. If I was in an exclusive dept store and saw this, I would walk right by." And then Heidi just had to ask, "Angela, how do you think your mom looks?" Her sterling reply: "Not attractive. I think its embarassing." How did the judges find Angela's creation? "Age-inappropriate," "I just don't really see Audrey Hepburn at all," and "Audrey Hepburn was about neatness, crispness�I mean, this was more Stevie Nicks in black" (Michael Kors is awesomely brutal).
Had to LOVE Jeffrey--he introduced Darlene, said she worked at the Salvation Army for 2 years and Darlene whispered a correction. OOPS...sorry, she works at the Red Cross. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Its getting easier to spot the so-called losers�ho-hum is the ultimate faux pas. Michael Kors on Robert: "But week after week, boring-boring-boring, over and over and over"), followed by not understanding the female form. Michael Kors on Angela: "Excuse me, that looked like Commes des Gar�ons goes to the Amish Country". HA!
Recent Comments